When
my friend asked me to write the wedding vows for her daughter’s wedding I
hesitated. I was honoured that she asked me, but I was not qualified to deliver
the official and religious vows. She reassured me that the official ceremony
will be conducted in a private event before the wedding. My part is just for
the benefit of guests who are not attending the private ceremony.
I gathered some information and came up
with the Persian wedding vows with a modern twist. when for the second time I
was asked to help out with the ceremony in another wedding, I thought others would probably
benefit from the information below; so I am putting it here for others who
might be interested.
The wedding tradition,
Persian style
Depending on which city you are from and
which religion or ideology you follow, there are slight
variations to the Persian wedding ceremony. However, generally speaking a
Persian wedding celebration consists of a sofrey aghd. Sofreh means the throw and aghd means wedding.
The sofreh is
a specially decorated piece of fabric with a collection of
symbolic items displayed before the bride and groom.
The
couple to be are seated facing the sofrey aghd, which
traditionally is laid out facing the East, the direction in
which the sun rises. The significance of this is that the bride and
groom are facing the direction from which the light appears as
they become man and wife.
To begin
a shawl is held above the couple’s head by female
friends and family throughout the ceremony, the women take
turns to grind the two sugar
cones together to signify the showering of sweetness on
to the couple.
As
the sugar cones are ground, a
few stitches are also sewn into the cloth to
signify the union of the bride and groom.
The
centrepiece of the sofrey aghd is the mirror. It is positioned in such
a manner that the groom would only see the
reflection of his bride. In the modern times the mirror is positioned
so the bride and groom can see their reflection as a couple; a reminder
that they are one and reflected in one another
The
two candelabras on either side of the mirror symbolise light and
fire, two very important elements in the traditional Persian culture.
Shakhe nabat, a decorative item made of sugar
candy promotes sweetness of life as a married couple.
Non Panir Sabzi, is bread, cheese and herbs which together are a symbol
of prosperity.
The
decorated almonds, walnuts and hazelnuts in their shells
symbolise fertility.
The main
part of the ceremony, the declarations (made by the couple) of
love and commitment to each other.
The
wording that has been chosen is
a loose interpretation of what is said historically
in Iran. Although in the older references, such as Shahnameh it is the
woman who chooses her groom and declares her love first but we go with the
more common way which is the groom asking first.
The groom says:
“I
have chosen you amongst others. In front of all these
witnesses, I promise to be loyal,
devoted and faithful to you, forever and always. Do
you accept my love and agree to share your life with me?”
According
to the present Persian tradition the bride does not respond until the
question has been asked three times.
So
the groom repeats:
“I
have chosen you amongst others. In front of all these
witnesses, I promise to be loyal,
devoted and faithful to you, forever and always. Do
you accept my love and agree to share your life with me?”
Still the bride does not respond. The groom repeats for the third time:
“I have chosen you amongst
others. In front of all these witnesses, I promise to be loyal,
devoted and faithful to you, forever and always. Do
you accept my love and agree to share your life with me?”
To
which the bride finally responds:
I do.
This
marks the end of the exchange of the wedding vows. At this point the shawl
which was kept over the couple heads is taken away and the rings are exchanged. Usually the bride's sister (or another young female family
member) brings the wedding rings. The rings are exchanged then the couple feed
each other honey, which signifies the sweetness of married life. Usually
the groom's sister (or another young female family member) picks
up the honey dish and offer it to the groom and then the bride. Each
one uses the tip of their little figure to collect a small amount of honey and
put it in the other’s mouth.
Gol
be sararoos yallah damad to beboos yallah is then chanted by guests. By which, the bride id encouraged to
kiss the groom. After which all the guests come up one
by one and congratulate the newly wedded couple and wish them a happy, long
and prosperous life together.
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