The Persian style wedding, aghd

When my friend asked me to write the wedding vows for her daughter’s wedding I hesitated. I was honoured that she asked me, but I was not qualified to deliver the official and religious vows. She reassured me that the official ceremony will be conducted in a private event before the wedding. My part is just for the benefit of guests who are not attending the private ceremony.

I gathered some information and came up with the Persian wedding vows with a modern twist. when for the second time I was asked to help out with the ceremony in another wedding, I thought others would probably benefit from the information below; so I am putting it here for others who might be interested.

The wedding tradition, Persian style

Depending on which city you are from and which religion or ideology you follow, there are slight variations to the Persian wedding ceremony. However, generally speaking a Persian wedding celebration consists of a sofrey aghd. Sofreh means the throw and aghd means wedding.

The sofreh is a specially decorated piece of fabric with a collection of symbolic items displayed before the bride and groom.

The couple to be are seated facing the sofrey aghd, which traditionally is laid out facing the East, the direction in which the sun rises. The significance of this is that the bride and groom are facing the direction from which the light appears as they become man and wife.

To begin a shawl is held above the couple’s head by female friends and family throughout the ceremony, the women take turns to grind the two sugar cones together to signify the showering of sweetness on to the couple.

As the sugar cones are ground, a few stitches are also sewn into the cloth to signify the union of the bride and groom.

The centrepiece of the sofrey aghd is the mirror. It is positioned in such a manner that the groom would only see the reflection of his bride. In the modern times the mirror is positioned so the bride and groom can see their reflection as a couple; a reminder that they are one and reflected in one another

The two candelabras on either side of the mirror symbolise light and fire, two very important elements in the traditional Persian culture.

Shakhe nabat, a decorative item made of sugar candy promotes sweetness of life as a married couple.

Non Panir Sabzi, is bread, cheese and herbs which together are a symbol of prosperity.

The decorated almonds, walnuts and hazelnuts in their shells symbolise fertility.

The main part of the ceremony, the declarations (made by the couple) of love and commitment to each other.

The wording that has been chosen is a loose interpretation of what is said historically in Iran. Although in the older references, such as Shahnameh it is the woman who chooses her groom and declares her love first but we go with the more common way which is the groom asking first.

The groom says:

“I have chosen you amongst others. In front of all these witnesses, I promise to be loyal, devoted and faithful to you, forever and always. Do you accept my love and agree to share your life with me?”

According to the present Persian tradition the bride does not respond until the question has been asked three times. 

So the groom repeats:

“I have chosen you amongst others. In front of all these witnesses, I promise to be loyal, devoted and faithful to you, forever and always. Do you accept my love and agree to share your life with me?”

Still the bride does not respond. The groom repeats for the third time:

“I have chosen you amongst others. In front of all these witnesses, I promise to be loyal, devoted and faithful to you, forever and always. Do you accept my love and agree to share your life with me?”

To which the bride finally responds:

I do.

This marks the end of the exchange of the wedding vows. At this point the shawl which was kept over the couple heads is taken away and the rings are exchanged. Usually the bride's sister (or another young female family member) brings the wedding rings. The rings are exchanged then the couple feed each other honey, which signifies the sweetness of married life. Usually the groom's sister (or another young female family member) picks up the honey dish and offer it to the groom and then the bride. Each one uses the tip of their little figure to collect a small amount of honey and put it in the other’s mouth.

Gol be sararoos yallah damad to beboos yallah is then chanted by guests. By which, the bride id encouraged to kiss the groom. After which all the guests come up one by one and congratulate the newly wedded couple and wish them a happy, long and prosperous life together.

  

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